Surviving COVID-19
Updated: Nov 28, 2020
When You Know You're Not Alone
June 15, 2020
3:15 am
Dear Diary,
As the pandemic continues and the stay-at-home seems never-ending, I've become one of many whose emotions continue to drift up and down from social isolation. Usually, when emotional downturns happen, I feel alone because it appears everyone's living happier lives. However, now with the pandemic, I'm reminded that I'm not alone in my loneliness and difficulties maintaining a constant stream of hopeful happiness. My house's four walls are now becoming the main place I see, day in and day out. Right now, my outside time consists of taking walks around the block. Inside my home, the next sewing craze goes on to keep me productive and sane. I'm not one who does well when life just stops and then asks, now what? Somedays, however, with my world becoming smaller, I feel like doing nothing but watching documentaries as a way to experience the world outside my shrunken world.
With my emotional moments, I know I'm experiencing someone else's isolated shoes during covid. This gives me compassion at a time when I don't have much contact with people. I'm remembering I'm not alone in my difficulties while working on the positives I can.
Being Labeled a "Failure" Among Many
March 23, 2020
2:42 am
Dear Diary,
As emotions continue to ebb and flow, in my house, today I woke up to another blue sky.
As I sat sewing again, I was thinking about my "loser" societal lot in life. I was contemplating the question if I'd been able to move life forward financially, before another crash, where would I be now? Would I be better off, or back in my current situation? I remembered, I'm not the only "failure" society has labeled; therefore, I must not be really a failure. Many people find themselves in my impoverished predicament while struggling the best they can. Now with covid, more people are coming. With these new covid survivors, they need hugs and compassion, not judgmental labeling.
I was also remembering 2008 and how far I'd come from that downturn. This includes my now AA education, which I just finished this semester. Funny timing. However, that's the positive part of this equation. But with this graduation comes a $10,000 student loan debt, I took out to help survive the first financial 2008 ripple. In this new downturn, I must figure out how to pay the money off. However, I'm not out of ideas yet, hoping my artistic spirit will pull me through the present while hoping my scholarly self will pull me through towards a better future. My recent back injury that occurred in August also doesn't help, before the pandemic even happened. I was remembering how hard I've continued to pull up my impoverished bootstraps while wondering, "am I ever going to make it "? How much harder do I have to work, just for s*hit to happen?