Keep Pushing Through Time

As a child, time slips by slowly, then quickly picks up into adulthood. Where did the time go? Why is it slipping? I never feel like I'm doing enough to move my future forward, and even when I feel caught up, there's still more to do while wishing I could hide under the covers. So why get up if I can never catch up? My answer: because staying in bed will do nothing but stagnate life, then what happens if I stop attempting? I will have nothing. If I do nothing, I will never know if something is possible. When I can move forward even an inch, little by little, like a snail that eventually gets to its destination, I won't question, "what if?" And if I stop living, how does that benefit anyone? How does that help my future?

However, sometimes I run from the things I should be doing because they feel too difficult, I feel too exhausted, there's too much responsibility, and what would it matter anyway? The sense I can't push through one more door, start over one more time or take one more step up that rugged mountain can become too overwhelming, and I have to pause.

Then there are the people I get disconnected from. Why? I don't have the time, I'm busy and preoccupied, and there needs to be more communication beyond texting technology to maintain a connection. I'm also a doer more than a chatter, so when the chat ends, I'm looking for something else we can do other than the continued conversation.

However, sometimes there are people to stay disconnected from who are destructive. Sometimes I need to know which is which by asking the question, does this person have my best interest at heart? If they say, "you need to change," is it toward a more fulfilling life? Is it using my gifts in a positive direction? Will the change lead to a thriving destination, or am I supposed to become a completely different person? Does this "friend" put me down and make me feel nothing is good enough? My purpose in their life is only to make them feel better as I fail.

Then I need to move on from this "friend" as time slips. I don't have time to stay entangled in destruction, only to move forward to climb up the next torturous mountain, even if alone, with only my Faith as strength to help me find the way.